


To See Is To Believe

by luvxander



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2014-08-11
Packaged: 2018-02-12 17:19:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2118273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvxander/pseuds/luvxander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate ending to Becoming part 2. The warning says Major Character Death but, if you need a warning for this death, you should be watching the show instead of reading the fics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To See Is To Believe

Later, after he’d gotten Giles through the emergency room and sat with Willow long enough to be sure that she was really going to be okay, Xander made his excuses and left them with Oz and Cordelia. He told them all that he was going home to throw himself into a pain killer induced coma and sleep for a few days.

But as he made his way out of the hospital, Xander let the class clown façade that had become his auto-pilot over the last few months fall away. With no audience to keep appearances up for, he was on the verge of collapsing with fear and pain.

He looked west, the direction that would take him home to a relatively comfortable bed and the healing sleep he knew he needed. But it was a fantasy he couldn’t afford to indulge. Instead, he turned east and, as fast as his pain filled body would allow, made his way back across town to the last place on earth he really wanted to be.

Surprisingly, nothing came out to stop him on his way. It had been a long time since he’d had to worry about the monsters coming after him for their midnight snack…well, other than one. But he had thought that with the power vacuum that had suddenly taken over Sunnydale, there would be someone that would already be stepping up to claim their spot as ruler of the Hellmouth. 

Apparently, the demons didn’t want to risk harming the property of an old vampire. Even if that vampire was….nope, not going there. Nothing is certain without proof. Willow had told him that once and Willow was very very smart, you shouldn’t question Willow, because that way led to insanity.

As he neared the mansion, he was amazed at how different it looked now. Like what it was, really. An old, abandoned house. The sight made his chest clench and his stomach tried to give a heave, but he forced his body back under his control and reached out with his good hand to pull the door open.

Logically, he knew what to expect. If Buffy had lost, the world would already be a very different place. A place that he wouldn’t be able to survive in, no matter how many promises had been whispered to him in the middle of the night. Still, the door closing behind him sounded so loudly that it echoed in the empty rooms, startling him. He couldn’t remember how many times he’d run through that door, slamming it behind him and never paying any attention to the sound it made.

He wandered through the rooms, memories of happier times assaulting his mind, until he came to the very center of the mansion, the wide open living area where the statue of Acathla still stood, a blessed sword projecting out from its heart. Seeing this, Xander felt as if his own heart had been pierced. He’d known the outcome of the battle, but he’d still hoped.

He fell to his knees, unable to continue standing against the weight of the grief filling him, and crawled on hands and knees toward the statue. The pain from his broken wrist was welcome as a distraction from the pain in his mind and heart, though nothing would ever be enough to drown them out.

Curling into a ball at the statue’s feet, Xander found a small silver chain with its clasp broken. He remembered giving that chain to Angel not so very long ago. Now, he took it and held it in his hands reverently, as if it would turn to dust and blow away on the wind if he let his gaze wander away from it. With his good hand, he brought the chain up to his face and placed a kiss along its knotted length and, finally, allowed the tears to come.


End file.
